ClickJulian

Julian

Born of  my desire

sweet and sticky

        a mother's syrup

formed from my deepest longings

and

from a dream I had when I was just a little girl while standing by the ocean, across the frothy foam a shout formed

it was you and I

son with eyes black as jet

skin the color of spent copper

I begged you from a God that up until then seemed to me either deaf or non existent

my heart broke a thousand times and H/She decided to give me consolation:

you appeared

from my breasts there surged milk that seemed as petals of white roses on your beautiful red lips

I counted each finger, every rib -----you were

my love

son

I want you happy

laughing

singing

not to see you timid, scared and angry

I want that tenderness may pour forth from you, and joyfulness and  piety

for your cats

for me

for man

and  woman

I want that you love bravely (like today, when at ten years old you believe yourself ferocious and capable of flying)

I want tenderness to spill from you as seeds from an immense pomegranate

and that your heart be as a flowing spring of water in a desolate desert

be strong my love

love in excess

love madly

It is my own damned blessing

to love madly

it is how you came to me

Chosen

And know always that for you I have fought my greatest battle

for you alone

because of love

copious

never conquered

I have abandoned many things in life

you will remain

as love remains

I brought you forth with each beat of my heart alongside yours

and I made you mine

you would gaze at me sweetly

and as a vampire was the transformation by which I brought you into this world

clapping your tiny hands like doves just learning how to fly

So, I damn you equally my son: love with passion

allow your tears to flow

the laughter

blood

death

and life.

For you are loved

son

moon

and

star

sun

and

sea.

I love you

                                       Claudia Olivos

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